It’s 8:24am currently, and I started up my PC in order to sit down to do a little drawing, as I’m wont to do on any day I don’t have to work in the morning, and I suddenly find myself just… uninterested. Uninspired. I flipped through my photos looking for something, but nothing jumps out at me. It certainly doesn’t help that the last few drawings I’ve done, nor the write-ups I’ve had for them, have seemed to garner much attention at all. Maybe people are done with my stuff? Maybe they’re just busy. It is almost the end of summer after all. Lots to try to cram in before Fall rears its ugly head.
Whatever it is, it’s been a bit disheartening. I don’t generally create FOR the attention, but attention is still nice, and I am trying to be an activist here, pushing body positivity and nudism and all that goes with it, but when it seems to fall on absolutely deaf ears, one begins to start to wonder why one does it. Don’t they? I guess some people might have the fortitude to just keep on trucking. I don’t know if I do yet… but I have come this far.
I only have 3 and a half hours before I have to start getting ready for work, and as it stands currently, I am just utterly unsure what to do with that time. There’s still a part of me that WANTS to draw… but that part also only wants to draw extremely specific things, and none of those things exist in my current reference library, and none of those things are findable on a general google search. It’s a little frustrating, to tell the truth. It wasn’t too long ago that nudist communities had all kinds of online presence… no longer. No longer.
I could just waste the time gaming, but I’ve really pulled away from that recently, and it’s felt pretty good. Anytime I do game now, it actually feels like I’m ‘giving up’ on something else I could be doing. I could go for a hike… but I like hikes to not have to be put into a time limit. I could go on a bike ride. I could try a contact blitz again to FCN and the Wreck Beach Preservation Society. Both of whom seem ABSOLUTELY disinterested in talking to me, if either of them exist as entities at all anymore. I could…
I could do a lot of things, but even as I typed them I knew none of them were for me today. So all that’s left is figuring out what is. I’m not going to do that by sitting here typing. I do have a load of laundry that needs moved to the dryer. I guess I’ll start with that… and then see where the day takes me.
Oh look. I haven’t done the Wordle today…. *opens phone and disappears*