Today is Saturday, July 20, 2024. We are already almost half-way through ‘summer’ (for me, Summer begins in May, regardless of when the actual solstice is) and this year has already been a pretty big fail in me getting out onto the beach as much as I have in the past. Yet, for some reason, I don’t feel entirely unhappy about that. It has definitely helped me save money, as I haven’t had to spend it on the usual food and drink that needs to accompany to a day on the beach, but also I’ve been able to spend my attention in other aspects of my life. Like getting some gaming done that I had been putting off, and getting drawing done that I had desperately needed to get back into. The above photo is one of my latest drawings, and is, of course, of myself on Wreck Beach during International Skinny Dipping Day enjoying some nice waves.
Still, I do lament the lack of beach going to a point, but not necessarily that I’m not going, but WHY I’m not going. They why is because I simply don’t feel safe enough or comfortable enough to go too often anymore. The one spot I’ve found where I can feel more safe and comfortable is a very long way away for me, requiring way more effort than it’s worth most days, especially since the beach is almost inaccessible when it comes to swimming (which is one of the main reasons I like to BE on the beach). The other spots I had, have unfortunately become just a little too crowded or have too many people going by, which causes me to have to be too vigilant and guarded.
So I’ve had to change my way of thinking this summer, so as not to depress the hell out of myself, and it has worked so far. I do force myself out for a day or afternoon here and there, and Wreck is always an option for when I really need to just get out there naked without a care in the world.
It’s funny though, isn’t it, that last bit? “Without a care in the world’. Living in a society that makes you have to care SO much about the naked body and where you can and cannot be free enough to exist nude is just… insane to me. Yet I have to be around little reminders every day that the majority of humans around me absolutely care WAY TOO MUCH about nudity in a negative way… and it’s heartwrenching.
But there’s very little I can do about it. I’m no true activist. I do my little drawings, which can be quite subversive in their own way, and I rant here and there, but it gets very little reach. I don’t have the energy to really be out there in the community pushing my ‘agenda’ such as it is, and I don’t know of much local support to turn to even if I were to do so. So all I can do is just continue to be as me as I can possibly be, and leave it at that.
So today I’ll go over to a friend’s house, sit on her deck in the nude while people go by and pretend to not see me, drink a few drinks, read a few things, and get some fresh air for a spell. Then I’ll feed her cat (she’s gone for a week, so I’m popping in when I can to help out), head home, and laze about until sleep comes and I’m back to the grind starting tomorrow.
Fun times, but no beach today. Again.