The word ‘Attraction’ has a few meanings, but for this small essay I’ll primarily be using the second definition in the Meriam-Webster Dictionary, which is:
- 2 – the action or power of drawing forth a response : an attractive quality
Now, this definition can be further split into 3 main sub-categories. Aesthetic attraction, Romantic Attraction and Sexual Attraction. These attraction types are separate types of attractions, but are not mutually exclusive. A person Aesthetically attracted to a person or thing can also be romantically and/or sexually attracted. Most of humanity is very familiar with the latter two of these, Romantic and Sexual. They are, of course, what lead us to procreation and furthering the human species. (Whether for good or for ill I’ll let you decide). The last attraction type is one that we all have and feel, but too often we confuse it with one of the other two, mostly because of societal conditioning. From the time we are small, we are conditioned to look at other people with more of a romantic attraction sense. “Isn’t she pretty?” asks the parent with that knowing tone in the voice. “Do you want to marry them?”
Then, as we age, media and peers step in and we’re inundated with feeling like we need to be romantically or sexual engage, and the aesthetic, while still there, gets lost in the shuffle. It is used merely to guide us toward a more ‘suitable’ mate, or at least one we’ll want to keep looking at once the love and the sex starts to diminish. However, aesthetic attraction plays a very large part in our lives, and it should be encouraged more often, especially in young children. It should be second nature and common practice to teach our children that it’s ok to find someone wonderful to look at, but it doesn’t mean you want to do anything but enjoy that sense of beauty on that innocent scale alone.
When it comes to humans and bodies, I find that we are far too often unable to separate sexual attraction and aesthetic attraction. To many people, these are one and the same with no room for maneuverability. These are the people that go agog if they see a topless woman. That have to hide in stalls in a change room because they can’t control their body reactions to seeing naked people. That make little sexual comments to whoever they think will listen if they see a person they find attractive go by them. They are mixing their sense of attraction and it is vastly problematic.
The thing is, the human body *is* extremely beautiful. There’s a reason why we are attracted to it, in various levels among various people. It’s a work of art and should be enjoyed and displayed and honoured. The aesthetic attraction of the body is massive, and it’s really a sad development that sexual attraction has been allowed to propagate and subjugate our ideas of what honouring the body should look like. We should be able to have women walk around as topless as men are allowed, anywhere they want, anytime they want, and have men be able to handle their feelings and be in tune with their aesthetics instead of their sexual desires. In British Columbia, Canada it is actually legal for women to do so, but it doesn’t happen because of the reactions of the general public.
Where we really fall off the rails is with the subject of children and youth. We have made the naked body *so* taboo and, thus ironically more sexually desirable, that we hide children’s bodies away as deeply as possible, with a few bizarre exceptions. One of these is in the case of child beauty pageants, where adults dress children like adults and then parade them around to judge them on their attractiveness. All of which is perfectly legal, but ethically suspect. Yet show a naked child enjoying themselves on a beach, or in a yard, playing naturally and contentedly and you suddenly have the moral brigade up in arms.
Why? Well, because children’s bodies are beautiful as well. Artists through the ages have accepted and honoured this fact with countless works depicting the nude child. Religious artists featured them as cherubs and angels and cupids. They have been depicted on beaches and in baths and at play. They have been shown throughout the ages as just humans, but smaller, and people have admired them as what they are. Beautiful little humans. Yet because of the way our society has gone over the last few generations, we have almost completely lost that ability to separate our aesthetic attraction to children’s bodies from a growing sexual (and even romantic) attraction. That sexual attraction may not even be intentional, or conscious. I believe many aversions to seeing nude children comes from a latent sexual attraction that causes extreme discomfort in the viewer. Others may be projecting their subconscious desires onto others. Others yet are merely looking out for the ‘safety’ of children, but generally go about it wrong and end up putting children’s safety in even more peril.
The truth is that it’s ok to find bodies attractive, no matter what their age, type, size, colour etc. It’s ok to think, “they are so beautiful.” Aesthetic attraction at its core is harmless and natural, as long as you have the ability to keep it separate from moving into something else. I don’t want to be too alarmist either. The vast majority of people really are capable of keeping aesthetic attraction separate from other desires. We don’t go around on a mass scale acting out on our little thoughts and feelings after all. Most of us don’t just force ourselves on a person we find attractive. Most of us don’t act out on deeper lusts. Most of us aren’t going to be dangerous people. Yet as a societal whole we still need to do a lot of work on the perception that naked bodies means sex.
There are a lot of us humans out there, and we all have a body, and many of us have no problem having that body out in view without coverings on it, and that includes families and children. The better we can get at accepting bodies as just being wonderful things to have and enjoy naturally, the quicker we can become a more free and accepting world.
I enjoy drawing bodies of all types, and children are especially fun to draw. Their shapes and sizes are challenging. Their ability to act natural and carefree is inspiring. Their flexibility and silliness is amusing and a joy to draw. Yet enjoying recreating their bodies in art form doesn’t mean that I am anything but seeing a human doing human things. I see lines and form and action and beauty, but I don’t see desire or lust or wanting. Much like any person that sees a rainbow and watches for a bit, so do I see the human body, In all of its forms. From large to small, to tall to short, to young and old….
Learn to be more free in your body. It’s beautiful. Always.